If I were ever placed in solitary confinement
Let’s be honest, it could happen, though you’re probably wondering why I’ve even considered it. Here’s the thing. It seems, primarily from every movie and TV show, that once you’re sent to solitary,...
View ArticleDon’t tell me I can’t do boot camp
As previously discussed in other posts, I am usually only motivated by three things: competition, spite and hunger. Further, there is nothing I hate more than being told I can’t do something....
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The German reservation system is outrageous
I did not need another example of Germans behaving insanely in public for no reason but I got one last night, when I was sitting at a table in a restaurant and the people showed up, spotted their name,...
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Things Heather Hates
We’re going to a new feature called Things Heather Hates and you can look for it on Thursdays. The list of things I’ll be featuring is already very long but I didn’t quite realize how long until a...
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Today was a good day
This is actually how I judge good and bad days. And because today is a lazy Friday and the start of a long, productive and snuggly weekend at home. Happy Memorial Day Weekend!
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When is it appropriate to urinate on yourself?
Socially acceptable answers are: When you’re stranded in a blizzard or Siberia or Antarctica and your limbs are frostbitten and it can save your life. Maybe not even your life but at the very least...
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The day I grew new nipples
So it happened sometime in the past 48 hours, sometime when I was busy and not able to witness the transformation and I would know, I’ve been monitoring these nipples my whole life. I think I already...
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And the naming war continues…
The naming war at my house continues and we are no closer to finding a name than we were 6 months ago. Could be worse, actually, because now I am considering giving in to the husband but negotiating...
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Sharing in child growing duties, The Nesting Edition
Somewhere along the way during this pregnancy, Chris thought the most appropriate kitchen appliance he could compare my womb to was the crockpot. He once told me that we were actually splitting the...
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So I slept with Speaker Boehner
Not my proudest moment, I’ll admit. He’s certainly someone I never in a million years thought about sleeping with, though I did talk to him a few times, a decade ago. He was always too tan, too...
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